


Catch Your Breath

by chloekramer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter RPF
Genre: F/M, jily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 12,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5565949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chloekramer/pseuds/chloekramer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Lily Evans begins her seventh year, she is excited about the prospect of being Head Girl and about all the things that are going to change. But what ISN'T she excited about? Her new Head-Partner, James Potter. Not excited. Not. At. All. Well.. Not at first...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As the sunlight shone through the curtains, Lily smiled.

She had been awake for an hour or so, just so that she could fully witness the beauty of her last morning in Cokeworth – for the time being, at least. Well, that, and she could barely sleep due to the excitement coursing through her veins.

"Hogwarts. Head Girl. Seventh Year. Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. Who is Head Boy? I dunno. But me? Head? Wow. WOW."

The words came out as half whispers, only just piercing through the bleary early morning sounds of birds and insects just outside.

A smile split up her already pretty face, transforming all her features into sheer radiance. Sure, her deep red hair wasn't brushed, and her top was slightly wonky because she had slept in it, but she was beautiful.

Exactly 13.26 minutes later, she was bounding down the stairs, headed for the kitchen to have one last breakfast at home before she left forever. Er, well, for the term.

As she pushed through the saloon doors into her own personal final frontier, she took a long look around. There was the fridge, with all of her brilliant school reports and drawings from when she was small. There was the toaster, the very same one with which she burnt 2 inches off the front of her hair when she was 7, trying to smell if the bread was done.

She chuckled softly before breathing deeply. She was going to miss it this year more than ever.

She snapped out of her self induced reverie as the sounds of life made their way down to her from her parents" room. They were awake, and the day had really started.

Four hours later, and now sat rather uncomfortably and alone in the prefects" compartment on the Hogwarts Express, Lily sat with her legs crossed, jotting down ideas in the smallest of her 3 notebooks. She was mumbling to herself, almost absent-mindedly.

"Gluten-waffle. No, that's rubbish, what are you doing, Lil? Um, Treacle-lasagne. No. No more food at all. Ever. Nope. Er, Simon Says Open?"

"I quite like that one. That"s a muggle game, right? Simon Says?" The voice came out of nowhere and Lily, startled, quickly looked to the door to see a very amused James Potter standing there smirking at her. Great. Just the person to come in and ruin her nice day.

"Yes, it is, not that you care. What are you doing in here, Potter? This is a  _ prefects"  _ compartment, and, in case you weren't aware, you are  _ not  _ a prefect. Please be on your way, now." She internally patted herself on the back. She figured this was a fairly good way to tell him to shove off.

"Actually, Evans, there is something you should probably know. I got a letter over the summer -"

"Saying what? That you are the supreme twat of the century? Nice one you dipshit. Come on, we've gotta secure the good compartment before the rodents get there – Oh, not you, Pete! First years!" The voice came from Sirius Black this time. He was standing just behind James in the narrow hallway with Peter Pettigrew, one of their friends. That made 3, so where was...?

"Hey, Lily! You here early for the prefects meeting, too?" There he was. Remus Lupin, the only one of the Marauders – that was Potter's friends" group – that she didn't outright despise. Well, except for Peter. You just can't hate Peter. He's so socially awkward that you"d feel terrible if you did.

"Hey, Remus. Um, yeah, early.. I guess you could say that? Although, technically, I am actually supposed to be here early to plan for the meeting," she replied. He looked really confused, as did Sirius and Peter (but surprisingly not James). That is, until she pulled out the little golden badge with "Head Girl" written on it in curlicue lettering.

"Ohhhh,  _ you're _ Head Girl. Of course you are!" replied Remus.

There was a quiet moment before James finally spoke up again. "As I was trying to tell you before these tossers interrupted, Evans: I'm here to help you plan the meeting." And with that, from his pocket he pulled a badge almost identical to Lily's, except that it said Head Boy.

Lily took a couple seconds to let this sink in before her head started exploding.

"What?! YOU?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! NO!" She started panicking and her breathing accelerated rapidly, which is dangerous when you're asthmatic. Spots appeared on her vision. She felt her body going down, but nothing else until she was woken up with a harshly shouted, "EVANS!"


	2. Chapter 2

As her eyes fluttered open, a blurry vision of wild black hair zoomed in and out rapidly.

"Ugh. Dizzy," she mumbled. This was answered with a brief snort and giggle from behind the hair blocking her view, which was quickly cut off when the head turned around.

It only took a few moments to realise who the head was. "Get off me, Potter. Get off, now," she managed to spit out.

"Evans, you just fainted!" James chirped back.

"I don't care! That's no reason for you to be anywhere near me at all. Get. Off!" She was yelling now, her (almost) full strength having come back. "I fainted because of a lack of breath. I'm-"

"Asthmatic, I know." James butted in. "That’s why you were excused from Potions the day we learned how to prepare that Noxious Potion, because of the smoke. Annnd it’s why you only ever got to the second flying lesson in first year. I remember it was Professor Hooch’s first year and she was really upset about it because we were her first class at the school, and she was all "Class, Lily will not be joining us any longer because the thin air in the sky makes it harder for her little lungs to cope." I remember, Lily Evans."

After his little monologue was complete, he backed away slightly and rested on his haunches, exhaling deep. Lily pulled herself up to lean against the padded bench, still sitting on the floor.

_Why does he have such a vivid memory of things I can barely remember about myself?_ _It's not like he has any reason to. We hate each other. What just happened?_ These thoughts and other similar ones raced across her mind at the speed of light, confusing and exhilarating all at the same time.

"Lily?" Remus had crossed the threshold now and was sitting directly opposite her, except he, of course, was actually on the seat. Telling herself to get a grip, she dragged her still puzzled body up onto the seat and tried to maintain some sort of dignified look.

"Well, Potter? Are we going to plan or not? I've got ideas for door passwords, but you already know that, right? Seeing as how you interrupted me while I was brainstorming? Have  _ you  _ got anything?" Lily was just trying to be mean now. She didn't like the fact that her worst enemy had seen her at her worst moment, and that he knew so much about her, so how better to get back at him than to be a total bitch?

"Actually, yeah, I have got  _ some _ ideas. I came up with them while trying to wake you up. Five minutes doesn’t seem like a long time, but you really can get things done." Ouch. His expression didn't betray whether or not he had meant that as an insult, but Lily definitely took it as one.

_ Oi vey. This year is going to be harder than I thought. _

An hour and a half later, and surrounded by prefects from the top 3 years, Lily was just about to finish off the annual train meeting when James interrupted her. "Guys, I know I haven’t been able to speak pretty much at all due to Lily running this meeting, so you’re probably all wondering why I'm here." The prefects stared at him, slightly dumbfounded, except for Remus, who had a knowing smile on his face. "Over the summer, a letter came to me in the post, quite similar to the one Lily here got, I'm sure."

_ He called me Lily. Just plain Lily. He doesn’t do that. What is going on with him? _

"Dumbledore has appointed me to Head Boy." The murmurs and gasped that surged around the relatively small room were immense, and James started to laugh. "That’s pretty much the reaction I expected, but I just want to let you know that I'm going to try really hard to do a good job at this, if Lily will let me, of course." More noise from the prefects, but this time it was laughter.

"Of course, I am still Quidditch Captain, so my time will be split between this and that, but I am going to at least  _ try. _ Okay, enough from me. Lily, you wanna finish off this meeting?"

But she didn't. Dumbstruck by his outburst, she just kind of shook her head, so James shouted out, "Alright then, I will! Get out of here you bloody wankers!" and began to chuckle. Everybody else joined in, but recognised that the meeting was over, and began to file out of the thin glass door, leaving the two Heads alone together.

"What the hell was that?!" It appeared Lily had regained her voice. His face darkening, James prepared his rebuttal. He opened his mouth to speak just as Remus popped his head back around the door frame. "Coming, Prongs?"

"Yeah, yeah. Gimme a minute," James retorted. Remus must have sensed something was up because he slipped back out of view very fast. "What are you talking about? You didn't even mention the fact that I'm actually Head Boy, and it didn't seem like you were going to, either. I’d like us to be cordial about this, Evans, because fact of the matter is that I  _ am  _ Head Boy and I'm not going anywhere! Why can't we just be friends?"

Lily was taken aback, and angry. "Why? WHY? Because you and your stupid friends decided it was funny to ruin my only friendship a year and a half ago. Because you thought it would be funny to push me into Moaning Myrtle and let her follow me around all day screaming in my ear. Because you constantly call me names like Carrot and Gingerbread. Because for 3 years you asked me out every single day as a joke purely because you knew no one else would and you thought it'd be just bloody hilarious to make fun of me for it. That's just the start, Potter. Would you like me to continue?" She was standing above him now, her fists clenched at her side as she screamed. She took a breath and a step back, and noticed a collection of first and second years standing just outside the door, watching with their mouths hanging open.

A quick look at James's face showed quite a similar expression to the kids outside. "You thought I was making fun of you?"

"What?" Lily was confused now, like usual. What the hell was he talking about?  _ When _ was he talking about? Always? Because yes, always, yes. She didn't want to explode on him again, so she turned on her heel and briskly walked out of the room, leaving 15 wide eyed children and James Potter gaping after her.


	3. Chapter 3

Welcome to Hogwarts School

Where we know what you are able to do

We know of your magical stuff

Because the rest of us all have it too!

So if you want to show it off

And prove that you're brave

Then, well, the strong live in Gryffindor!

Just please try to behave!

If, however, you prefer

A slightly more cunning plan

Then perhaps there"s Slytherin

And Salazar"s your man!

If you are too generous

And so loyal and so kind

Then head on over to Hufflepuff

To others with similar mind!

And if you appreciate the brain

And the smarts and the truth

Then you"ll find comfort in Ravenclaw

With the rest of the "wise" youth

That, then, is Hogwarts

Wrapped up in my song

And if I were to sing again

I"d expect you all to sing along

The Sorting Hat stopped singing as abruptly as it had started. Lily snapped out of her thoughts and began clapping with the rest of the student body.

The first years stood in a huddle directly in front of the raised platform where the hat was on a stool had a similar expression to the one on every first year"s face during this part of the feast. Sheer amazement at the fact that a hat could talk, let alone SING!

Professor McGonagall, a seemingly brisk and professional woman, began calling the names of the students to be sorted.

"Abersynth, Amy!"

A moment's pause and then the hat erupted.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The yellow-and-black clad group around the table on the end burst into applause, yelling and whooping and patting their new member on the back as she sat down. The rest of the hall politely clapped. This carried on for a while, and Lily began to run on autopilot, applauding when necessary, but thinking about something else, her mind totally focused elsewhere.

"And finally, Werner, Antony!"

The word "finally"  _ finally  _ brought Lily back to the moment she was meant to be in, and she paid attention as the last first year standing was sorted into Ravenclaw.

When the cheering had finally died down to a low roar, Headmaster Dumbledore stood up from his seat in the middle of the very large teachers’ table and made his way to the podium, which seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and replaced the hat"s stool on the platform.

The second he rose, silence struck. A small smile played at the corner of his lips as he began to speak.

"Welcome back, everyone. Except you new students. Welcome for the first time, for you. This year we attempt to better ourselves and each other, and we will learn. Yes, even us teachers will learn a thing or two." He chuckled as his smile spread to most of the tables in front of him. "This year we welcome back our teachers, and say a big hello to the newest addition to our family, Professor Helen Tierney, who will be teaching Care of Magical Creatures while Professor Grubbly-Plank is on maternity leave. As for Defence Against The Dark Arts, Professor Slughorn will be taking lessons for our first and second years, Professor Sinistra will be teaching our OWL students, and I will personally be teaching all of our NEWT students. This is hopefully only temporary, until an obvious person suited to the role pops up, but until then, you'll have to put up with us." He began to laugh again, and was soon joined, however uneasily, by the students in front of him.

Lily's heart was racing. To be taught – actually taught – by Albus Dumbledore? The man who defeated Grindelwald? The only one He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was afraid of? Oh, this will be good. This will be very, very good!

"One last thing!" Dumbledore's voice reverberated around the room. "I wanted to introduce and congratulate our new Head Boy and Girl! So please will you stand up, to  _ immense _ applause, I'm sure, Lily Evans, Gryffindor, and James Potter, also Gryffindor!"

Gryffindor House table was in riot. Screaming, hollering, banging fists on the table, stamping their feet. To have both Heads from the same house was almost unheard of. Somebody started a chant, very faintly at first. She was certain it was one of the Marauders, but others started catching on, and soon all of Gryffindor was shouting "James! James! James!" at the top of their lungs.

_ James? _

Tears stinging at the back of her eyes at the lack of acknowledgement, Lily slowly sat down. The chant carried on.  _ She  _ was the one who was best in the year, and deserved Head Girl! More than him, at least. Why does he get all the credit when she does all the work?

"Quiet down, now." The headmaster muffled their cheer with just 3 words, and everyone was soon sitting properly again, paying attention to the man at the front. Except Lily. Eyes downcast, she was trying her very hardest not to burst out in tears. "I think we've exhausted ourselves now. Off to bed, all of you! First lessons tomorrow morning!"

And with that, everyone began to leave the Great Hall. Lily hung back, uncertain whether to actually join in the Gryffindor crowd or just go her own speed. She decided on the latter.

The staircases had decided tonight would be a good night to completely switch around, so the trek to Gryffindor Tower was long, and she had never felt more lonely.


	4. Chapter 4

As Lily clambered through the portrait hole and headed up towards the 7th Year Girls’ Dorm, she heard quite a ruckus drifting down. She looked around the Common Room, and most of the others around were ignoring the noise, only sneaking quick glances at the staircase every now and again.

Hesitantly, Lily climbed the stairs, just wanting to go to sleep after an emotionally tiring day. The noise was getting louder, and she finally opened the door to her dorm only to see Brooklyn Glocke throwing Yvonne Joy’s hair appliances at Hannah Wilcox. Yvonne was nowhere to be seen. Probably escaped right as the whole thing kicked off.

"You  _ filthy, dirty, SLUT,  _ Hannah! I hate you! God dammit! Why would you do that to me? You bloody  _ bitch _ !" Brooklyn was still screaming profanities and insults at Hannah, but the physical assault had momentarily stopped while she searched around for more things to throw. Apparently Yvonne's hair collection was not extensive enough to cover her need.

By silently scooting along the edge of the room and quietly pulling herself onto the same bed she had slept on for 6 years, Lily was able to enter the room without detection. Well, mostly. Alice Prewett, easily one of the more popular girls in Gryffindor, poked her in the arm and whispered, "Hey, just in time," as Lily got settled into the mattress. Alice was sat on the floor in between Lily's bed and her own, practicing a Locomotion Charm on her ancient teddy bear, getting it to fetch her books and clothes and then put them back again.

"What exactly has happened here?" Lily asked, because it's not like it was completely apparent, and she was a naturally curious person.

Alice put on an obviously fake look of excitement at sharing the gossip, and in a tone mocking the other girls in the room, began recounting. "Oh, right, well, as it turns out, Hannah stayed round Brooklyn"s house at the summer, like usual, and Henry came to see B. You know Henry? Big, tough Hufflepuff beater in the year above? Brooklyn"s boyfriend?" Lily nodded. She knew of him. "Right, well, he came to see her, but she got distracted because she realised that they were out of something or other, I don't remember, so she popped out to the shops or something, and she was gone for quite a while, and when she came back, she had no idea that Henry and Hannah had just, like, done  _ it _ on her bed. Hannah’s just told her now because she doesn't want her finding out any other way. Isn't that just the most  _ wonderfully  _ delicious news of the summer?" The sarcasm was practically dripping off her tongue. Alice was popular enough that this kind of petty drama was below her. She began to laugh. Lily couldn't help but join in.

"Yeah, I suppose it is." After they both stopped laughing, they just kind of sat there smiling as Brooklyn continued her barrage on Hannah in the middle of the room.

"What are you taking for NEWTS, then?" The question was unexpected, and Lily turned to Alice, surprised that she was still talking to her.

"Oh, um. You know, the standard-"

"Let me guess. Everything?" Alice smirked.

"Er.. Yeah, pretty much," replied Lily sheepishly.

Alice barked out a laugh, although not unkindly. "You're kinda cool, kiddo. We should hang out.” Lily face betrayed her surprise at this. Alice laughed again, and proceeded. “I know, I know, Alice Prewett wants to hang out with Lily Evans. Seems weird, right? Because I’m so ‘popular’?” She paused as a tube of lipstick flew past her face and hit the wall. “I’ve actually only got a few friends, it’s just that I’ve got a lot of acquaintances. Anyway, let’s eat breakfast together tomorrow. I could use someone on my side of the dramatic bullshit in this room, and besides, it never hurts to be less anti-social. Well, goodnight, Lily."

Before Lily could formulate a response, the Alice was in her bed, curtains drawn, and Lily was alone. She followed her roommate’s example and pulled her own sound-muffling curtains around her four-poster and prepared for sleep.

The next morning at breakfast, after sitting with Alice for a while out of convenience more than anything, a letter landed in front of Lily, delivered by a school owl.

_ To Miss Lily Delphine Evans _

_ I would greatly appreciate it if you would grant my request of your presence this morning. I have asked Mr Potter for his attendance as well. The meeting is regarding you Head duties and your special privileges. Please report to the statue of the gargoyle in the Headmaster's Tower at 8:05. _

_ I enjoy Liquorice Wands. Do you? _

_ Professor A.P.W. _

_ Headmaster _

She wasn't entirely sure what the thing about liquorice meant, and she certainly wasn't happy that she had to spend time with James- Potter! POTTER, not James - today, but she supposed it couldn't be helped. She checked the time: She had 10 minutes. Not very long when you have to cross the entire school. She gulped down the rest of her breakfast, said goodbye to Alice, and all but ran from the Hall. James was leaning casually against a suit of armour just outside, as though he was waiting for her.

"Evans, hey. Thought we’d go together?"

_ He’s such a snarky git. How does he even have friends? Stupid git. _

Lily didn't say anything, but she didn't run away either. She just kept walking in the direction of Dumbledore's office. James fell in step beside her, easily making up for her fast moving feet simply by having long legs that covered three of her strides in one of his.

"I know a shortcut, you know." Lily ignored him, and she was doing an expert job at it. "Ooh, the cold shoulder, nice one, Evans. Really good, that."

_ Stupid bastard thinks he's so charming. What if I shove his wand where the sun don't shine, we'll see who's charming then. _

The entire way to their meeting point, James kept trying to initiate conversation, and Lily kept ignoring him. She was glad when they reached the gargoyle, but hadn't a clue as to how to proceed.

Turning to her, James asked, "You don't know what he meant by that Liquorice Wands think, do you?"

Upon hearing this, the stone gargoyle stepped sideways, out of sight, revealing a staircase. "It was the bloody  _ password.  _ Of course," said James. He wasted no time jumping up the stairs towards the Headmaster. Much as she hated to, Lily followed him, preparing herself for a truly agonising half hour with James Potter.


	5. Chapter 5

"To conclude our meeting, I just wanted to let you know about your private Head's office." So far Dumbledore had touched on passwords, Prefect rotas, duties, abilities, House points, and disciplinary actions, but this was what Lily was surprised by. "It’s concealed by a secret entranceway right inside your own common room up in Gryffindor Tower. Directly to the right of the fireplace, and three bricks across, tap your wand 3 times and the door will open. In the future you will tap and give the password, but you, of course, shall need decide what that is when you get there. You should find it to your liking. But, I will warn you – don't give too many other people the password, you'll need the quiet space away from the rest of the house." His eyes twinkled as he said this, and Lily was yet again puzzled by what he could mean.

Well, obviously, there was the "we're Head Boy and Girl, we're going to need space to plan meetings, rotas, and points, as well as schoolwork" bit. But behind the half-moon spectacles, his eyes hinted some other meaning, which Lily just couldn't decipher.

James and Lily gave their thanks and parted ways from Dumbledore as he chirped a cheerful "Goodbye!"

_ What does he mean? By ALL of it? _

After a very uneventful first few lessons of the day, Lily's books and assignments were stacked pretty high. She wasn't exactly the most buff girl around, and after that Arithmancy class, her textbook level was obscuring the bottom half of her line of vision.

"Watch out!" The voice of a small girl came from somewhere near her thigh and she spun around, looking to see what she needed to watch out for.

The spinning around ended up being a really bad idea because that aforementioned Arithmancy textbook slipped from her grip. In an attempt to catch it before it fell off, Lily tripped over Merlin knows what and hit the ground hard, books and papers scattered around her on the floor.

"Lily!" Strong arms reached around her from behind and pulled her to a standing position. "Are you alright?"

She began dusting herself off just a little bit, and started to collect her things from their spots on the floor, avoiding the amused glances of the students around her.  _ I'm the Head Girl, and I just stacked it in the hallway on the first day of lessons. Ugh. _

"Yeah, fine, thanks." She was avoiding her knight in shining armor"s glances too. He was knelt down next to her now, collecting some more of the spilled goods. She muttered another quick "Thanks" before pulling herself upright again. Looking into her saviour's face, her mind turned into overdrive.

_ James Potter just helped me out. He didn't make fun of me. He rushed to help me. What the hell is going on with him? _

Averting her eyes, she turned on her heel and walked the other direction. It didn't matter that it wasn't at all near where her next class was, as long as it was far away from the boy with the shaggy black hair, standing head and shoulders above the other students, wiping his glasses on his sleeve.

As she was sat alone at dinner that night in the Great Hall, eating the pleasant tasting soup on offer, Lily felt a presence beside her on the bench. Alice was already sat across from her, talking to her thousands of friends and leafing through the Potions book, so she found this more than a little bit strange, and was wondering who it could be until she looked up and, of course. James  _ bloody  _ Potter.

"Can I help you, Potter?" she remarked, with more than a little bit of unintentional venom in her words.

"Ah, Lily, lovely to hear your voice again. I had so missed it after you failed to thank me earlier for all my marvelous help in the hallway." James was smirking at her, only about 8 inches away from her face.

_ What an arse. Expecting a thank you after the years and years he spent tormenting me? Fat chance! And why on earth does he keep calling me LILY? _

"Go away," she shot back.

_ Oh, expert, Lily. Way to fire at him. That one’ll leave him reeling, I'm sure. Bet he doesn't know what to do with himself. Clever. _

"Listen, Lily, I've been thinking, and I really believe we need to clear the air from past years. I know I was a total wanker to you, but that was a combination of my immaturity and Sirius’ devious planning and Remus’ submission." James was continuing to speak to her, and despite the nonchalant look on her face, Lily was listening attentively. "I'd really love it if we could sit and chat in our office, maybe be friends? If that's all we can manage, then at least it’s something."

She thought about it for a few moments, leaving him hanging. She snuck a peek at him several times, though, and for some reason, in between his hopeful grins at her, he was turning back around to where his friends were sat. They appeared to be giving him thumbs up and winking and then quickly motioning for him to turn back around.

_ What's got into everyone?! _

Taking a deep breath, she semi-reluctantly replied with "I suppose we can attempt at "something" at 8 in our office. Don't be late or I won't be there. And you'll have to convince me that you really do want to be friends."

And with that, she gulped down one final spoonful of her pleasant tasting soup, got up from the table, and walked towards the staircases. She turned around as she reached the door only to see James staring at her with a disbelieving look on his face as Sirius slapped him on the back and Remus and Peter quietly applauded.

_ What are they up to? _


	6. Chapter 6

 

Lily was strategically positioned in the corner of the Common Room, reading one of her new textbooks, but paying more attention to the entrance than the page. The careful consideration in her placement next to the knight of armour meant that she was nearly invisible to students walking through the door, but could keep an eye on the comings and goings of her fellow Gryffindors, watching for one in particular.

At 7:45, none other than James Potter walked through the door with his motley crew and slowly wandered toward the stairs up to the boys dorm. Pieces of conversation drifted over to Lily from across the room. "Mate, just do it. Just tell her," Remus said, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Sirius hit him over the head. "Tell her? You can't just tell somebody that. You"ve got to PROFESS it, y’know?"

Lily was confused, to say the least, but decided that James's love interests were none of her business. Her decision was well timed, and as the boys climbed the tower, the conversation faded and she could no longer hear the Marauders’ gossip.

At 7:58, Lily got up and walked over to the supposed hiding spot of the Head Office. She pulled out her wand, tapped thrice, and watched as the wall swung into a large room with two comfortable looking couches, two desks with matching desk chairs that  _ also _ looked very comfortable, and 4 walls lined with bookcases and bookshelves that were filled - top to bottom - with stacks and stacks of books.

_ Oh my god. Heaven? _

Lily hesitantly walked in, not wanting to wake herself from the dream or scare the mirage away - it had to be a mirage, right?

At 7:59 on the dot, right as Lily fell back onto the couch facing away from the door, coincidentally hiding herself from view, James walked in the door. "Just do it. I've got to do it. Agghhh."

_ Oh! He’s here. And he's talking to himself. Erm.. _

"Lily? Oh my god, I'm late. My watch is slow and I'm late and it's all over. Shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh -"

James was interrupted by the sudden sight of Lily's head poking out over the top of the couch.

"Oh," muttered an only  _ mildly _ completely and utterly embarrassed James Potter as he walked over to the couch opposite Lily and delicately took a seat. "Erm, hi, uh, I mean - hello, er, hey?"

_ Wait.. Is he nervous? What even? What is going on? _

"I'm glad I get this opportunity to talk to you and to, uh, try to correct some of the wrongs I've, erm, wronged you with, uh.." James trailed off.

Lily decided to proceed as if James -  _ POTTER! _ She reprimanded herself.  _ I've  _ got  _ to stop doing that -  _ wasn't acting completely barmy. "J-, er Potter," she paused to clear her throat. "You have 5 minutes to get my attention, and if you haven't convinced me that this "pairing" of us as Head Team is actually workable, I'll be finished and I’ll handle all the responsibilities and you can fuck off to your Quidditch Pitch. Got it? Go."

James wasted about a tenth of his explanation time stuttering, trying to find the words to tell Lily how he was okay being friends and how he was sorry and how he felt and -

"Hello? Earth to arsehole?" Lily was being rude but it was enough to snap him back into this weird and twisted version of reality.

"Lily, I just want to tell you how sorry I am for everything I've done and how badly I treated you for so long -"

"Six years."

James recovered from her rebuttal smoothly, continuing. "I know. And I feel so terrible, Lily, really. Truly terrible. And I promise to do everything I can do to make you believe it and to help you in this whole Head Boy and Girl endeavour, everything. Okay? And, erm, I want to tell you all about how I've changed and all, and erm, how I feel… about… erm. Well, well everything, of course, nothing in particular, not anyone, erm..."

Lily's face was a mix of sympathy and utter confusion for the Head Boy.  _ Where the hell is he going with this? Is he even going anywhere with it at all? I should probably forgive him, right? Purely so that we can proceed with our duties, of course. Of course. Nothing else. Right. _

With that, she decided to put the poor boy out of his misery.

"Fine. Fine, whatever, you're fine. Forget it. Now you can go back to your Marauders. I just don't care anymore," Lily said, trying to convince herself that she truly didn't.

James's face fell.  _ So much for a cunning plan, eh? You twat. Fucking tell her.  _ "Erm, okay. Oh, and Lily? About earlier? Erm.."

"What?"

"I wasn't making fun of you. All those years. Y’know, asking you out and that. I really liked you that whole time, Lily. A lot, actually. I know I was a dickhead but I really liked you a lot. I'm sorry about Snivellus and ruining the past 6 years but I was just trying my best to impress you and get close to you and I know I did a really shitty job and we'll probably never even be real friends or anything *ahem* else, but  _ please _ just know that I'm trying my best to right the wrongs and to prove to you that not only am I worthy of Head Boy, but that I'm worthy of being your, erm, your friend, I guess. Yeah, friend. I'll happily spend forever trying to prove it to you, Lily Evans. I promise I’ll prove it to you. Please let me."

It was a lot. It was definitely a lot to take in. The profession that Sirius had talked about in the Common Room… it had been for her? So way back in First Year, when Lily swore she was in love with James Potter, before all the shit started, he felt the same way?

Her entire perspective began to shift.  _ So everything he did, he was trying to impress me? That whole time? And he was trying to protect me from Severus? What the fuck?  _

Lily’s emotions were running rampant and her heartbeat racing. In 5th year she had thought to herself that if James Potter hadn’t been such a dick, she’d have liked him, and now she learns 2 years later that he reciprocated it? This was wrong. This was so wrong. Everything she’d assumed about him teasing her had been wrong.

Was he actually a nice guy then? The meanness - it was all just a front? I mean, the end of last term he seemed to have left her alone a lot more than previous years, and she assumed it was because he growing bored of the fighting, or that he was distracting himself with other… things. Was that just because he stopped liking her? The thought of him ceasing to fancy her stung, but she wasn’t really sure why.

After a quick internal assessment of the confusing situation and of her own thoughts, Lily responded with a sharp "right," and quickly left the Head Office in favour of her bedroom.

_ Fuck. _


	7. Chapter 7

James took a deep breath. The boys would be proud. Sirius would probably make some snide remark about his balls, and the time it took to get that out there. Remus would have counted each time he stuttered, used a filler noise like "erm", or restarted his train of thought. Peter would just be pleased that James had let that off his chest. Peter was always just pleased whenever any of them did anything significant. Or insignificant. Or anything, really. Anything at all.

Rushing out of the office would seem like he was chasing Lily, right? And he didn't want others in the Common Room thinking that they were strategically staggering their exits to hide some imagined sexual encounter. So he waited.

The couch was a lot more comfortable than he had been allowing it to be while talking to Lily, but now that she was gone and his guard was down, he relaxed back into the cushion, put his feet up on the wooden coffee table, leaned his head back, and stared at the ceiling, deep in thought.

_ What the fuck just happened? What did I even say? And, more importantly, what did she hear? Why is this whole thing so fucking complicated? Her hair looked really pretty though.. _

_ ________________________________________________________________________ _

 

A while later, James walked into the room he shared with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew just as some heavy-looking metal item was chucked in his direction by none other than Padfoot himself. "Padfoot, what the fuck?!" screamed a nearly mutilated James.

"Ah, Prongsy. you're here! You can settle this debate, you fucking Golden Boy, you! You see, Moony here thinks that..."

And with that, James managed to forget about his Lily Evans debacle for a while, choosing instead to be sucked into the drama of his roommates - and best friends - until they remembered the possibly life changing conversation he had just returned from.

“Tell us about it, Prongsy,” prompted Sirius. “You told her you’re head over heels, right? And that her hair is the color of happiness and that you want to hold her and count every freckle, every day for the rest of your sad, sad life?”

“Shut up, Padfoot,” James responded, not trying to hide the embarrassed smile on his face. He grabbed his pillow and put it in front of his chest, hugging it to himself and burying his mouth and nose. Nothing could hide the redness of cheeks, however, as he avoided the other Marauders’ knowing looks. His friends knew him too well. “Okay, fine. Here’s what happened.”

The boys stayed up into the night, going over the finer details of the encounter, psychoanalyzing both James’s words  _ and  _ Lily’s reactions, and trying to predict her eventual response.


	8. Chapter 8

The room felt colder than normal to Lily as she sat on her bed with the curtains drawn, hugging a pillow and trying to focus her eyes on her Defense Against The Dark Arts textbook. Their first class with Dumbledore was the next day and she needed to be prepared. But her eyes wouldn't focus. They couldn't stop drifting to the door, and her thoughts were fully occupied not by countercurses, but by a tall, shaggy boy with glasses and warm hands and strong arms and a really really nice face and-

_ Holy shit, Lily. He apologizes - not even a solid or good apology - ONCE, and you go apeshit thinking about him as anything more than a maggot in your apple? Hell no. Snap out of this. _

Alice walking into the room was a very welcome distraction.

“Thank god you're here, I need an opinion on an outfit for our first Hogsmeade visit!” Alice said as she bounced over to their shared corner of the room. She stood in between their beds for a solid 10 seconds staring expectantly at Lily before the redhead realized Alice was waiting for a response.

“Oh, sure. But isn't the first outing in a month or so?” Lily never had anyone ask her to Hogsmeade, so she rarely went down into the little town. It wasn't exactly a weekend she knew the dates of, but the first trip was usually in October.

Alice looked confused. “Yeah? But I heard that both Frank Longbottom  _ and  _ Mary MacDonald, the girl from the year below that helped you out with the whole Severus thing last year, are planning on asking me to go with them. So I need to decide who to go with, but before I can do that, I need an outfit.”

Lily didn't bother asking why the outfit came first, or why it was necessary to plan so extensively  _ so  _ far in advance. Instead, she just nodded her head and assisted her roommate in her "difficult" decision.

Every so often, between Alice"s presenting of a garment, changing her mind, tossing it disgustedly into the center of the room, and rummaging through her trunk for a new idea, Lily thought of someone she tried desperately to forget. 

_ What is going on with him? With me? He"s treated me like shit for 6 years. Why can't I stop thinking about him? And his face? And the sureness of his hands as he lifted me off the floor? Fuck. _

She shook her head at both her thoughts and the top Alice was holding. Things were changing, and she didn't really know how to confront these intrusive thoughts except to just ignore them.

_ So that's what I'll do. _


	9. Chapter 9

Dumbledore"s first class with the 7th years could have gone any number of ways, but the final tally at the end of their hour together was as follows:

Number of times Dumbledore forgot where he placed his wand:

12

Total number of minutes spent looking for the wand:

18

Number of times Sirius had been the one to move the wand (via magic):

7

Total minutes spent talking about Dumbledore's summer trip to Aruba:

Far too many

Number of sighs coming out of one Lily Evans:

See answer above

Doodles on Lily's parchment:

49

Words written absentmindedly then scribbled out  _ present _ mindedly immediately after:

3

Minutes wasted:

52

Lily Evans exited the room slowly, disappointed in the past hour for all the obvious reasons that everyone was upset, plus a few less obvious ones that no one would ever have had predicted coming from her. 

A name she hadn't scribbled since the January of her first year had been scribbled (and crossed out, mind you) 3 times on her paper by her own treacherous hand when her head wasn't paying attention. How dare it? She was just contemplating cutting it off, and pondering the practical applications of a tourniquet in her amputation, when she saw two big feet in black shoes visible beneath a far-too-short robe appear before her own shiny toes. If she hadn't been staring forlornly at the ground, she likely would have noticed the object of her frustrations walking towards her, and would also likely not have been as frightened by his sudden appearance. She may even have avoided him entirely. But she didn't.

“J- James. Potter. I mean, um, hey. Hi.”

_ Way to fucking go, Lily, fucking- _

“Hi,” James let out weakly, his voice crackling a little. If she had been thinking straight, she probably would have realized that he was as flustered by her awkwardness as she was by his in their shared office the night before. But she wasn't. 

The sound of his voice shut her inner tirade right up. 

James's face let show a lot of different emotions all at once, then one at a time, and then he seemed to change his mind about something, and turned to walk away. 

One step away. Two steps away. 

And then he was facing her again.

One step towards. Two step towards. 

“Can we talk later? In our office maybe? Around 8, like last night? I want to make sure things are really okay between us. I can't take any more fighting and I want to make sure you know how sorry I am and how desperate I am to make things totally right. I'll do anything.”

Lily closed her eyes quickly and willed herself to nod, but when she opened her eyes, he was already gone.

__________________________________________________________________________

 

Dinner for Lily was a mess of nerves, excitement, confusion, anger, and eating her many, many feelings. By the fourth helping of cherry pie, she felt sick to her stomach. Alice had ended up sitting next to her again, but had been so distracted by her many friends in all directions of where they were sitting that she had hardly noticed Lily's strange meal. But as Lily reached for a fifth slice, Alice grabbed her arm. 

“Yeah, no. You need to stop. I know I'm not the most attentive person, but if I only caught half of what you've been eating, and half of your facial expressions, then I'm worried for you. What the hell is going on with you?” Alice had a very concerned look on her face as she said all this, and Lily realized that while she didn't feel comfortable explaining all of the details, a few couldn't hurt.

She looked both ways to determine the position of the Marauders, and discovered that there were at least 8 people between herself and the closest Marauder, Remus, who was down the table to the left. The others were there with him. 

She sighed, and looked at Alice, and began in a hushed voice. “Okay, where the fuck do I begin?”

__________________________________________________________________________

She didn't use James's name at all in the story, but after telling the part about the whole "Head Boy" thing, Alice kind of figured it out. For a smart girl, this whole situation was making Lily act stupid. 

Alice was clearly confused as to the problem. “Okay, so what's the big deal? He apologized. you're friends now? That"s it?” 

Lily shook her head. “Well, but, I don't know. He told me last night that all those years while he was asking me out he genuinely had a huge crush on me. I didn't know that. He also wants to meet again tonight, in…” Lily paused to look at her watch and her heart doubled its pace. “43 minutes.”

Alice was staring dumbfounded. “How the hell did you not know he liked you? The entire school knew. I mean, 6 years is a long time.”

Lily shook her head and muttered under breath, “I thought he was making fun of me.”

“Well, he wasn't. And it kinda seems like you had repressed feelings for him this whole damn time. So come on, Miss Cherry Pie, I've finished my dinner, and we need to get you an outfit for your secret rendezvous.” Alice joked as she wiped her mouth with her napkin and got up from the table. 

Lily followed suit, and before long, they were in their room, on their beds, and Lily was hyperventilating. 

“I've only got 29 minutes. I don't have a crush on him. I don't. STOP LAUGHING. I don't have a crush on him, I just don't know how to act. I feel like maybe I'm being too mean when I don't mean to be, but I don't want to be too nice. Do I? He was awful to me for-”

“6 years. Yeah I get it,” Alice interrupted. “But he wants to make amends now. This seems like an awful lot of panicking for a boy you have no attachment whatsoever to.”

“Shut up, Alice.” Lily snapped.

Alice was surprised by the venom. She stared at Lily for a moment before standing up and leaving the room, calling back over her shoulder. “I want to be your friend, Lily. And I want to help you. But you have GOT to figure your fucking shit out, dude.”

And with that, she was gone.

Lily looked at her watch.

_ 26 minutes. Fuck. _

_ __________________________________________________________________________ _

After quite a while of distracting herself from her Head Girl meeting (that"s what she was calling this now, it helped her not freak out) via Herbology, Lily looked at her watch again. It was 7:58, and she was still in her robes. She began to freak out again. 

_ What if James isn't in his robes anymore? What if he changed? Should  _ I  _ change then? BUT what if I change and he's still in his robes? Then I'll look obvious, like I'm trying way too hard. Okay. I'll just spruce my face up just a little bit.  _

She walked over to the mirror, applied a touch of mascara, and squeezed her cheeks to redden them. This whole thing was making her pale.

Then, with a large intake of breath, she turned and bolted from the room before she could change her mind.


	10. Chapter 10

_ She's late. What if she doesn"t come at all? I should've stayed around to see if she actually was going to meet me instead of running off like that. God, I'm a fucking idiot,  _ James thought to himself as he paced the floor of the Head Office. The noisy common room was only audible when the entrance was open, so it was dead silent in the empty room except for the sound of his school shoes against the wood flooring and his intermittent and obnoxious sighs.  _ Is she going to come? _

The room was big. Too big. The ceiling was too high, the walls too far away, The minimal furniture didn't do a good job of filling the space, and while the part of the room nearest the door did its best to appear cozy - rugs, couches, paintings, candles, curtains - the farthest part of the room was barren. It was as if some big piece of furniture had been here previously, and had been taken away. It was uncomfortably bare over here. This is where James paced.

If sitting on the couch facing the door, it would be impossible to know James was even there, but he had checked all possible hiding places upon entering. He didn't want a repeat of before.

_ She can't be mad at me forever. I mean, she's really really cute when she's mad, but I can't have her be mad at me forever. I need to tell her how much I- _

Just then, the door flew open, and in walked an incredibly flustered - and drop dead gorgeous - Lily Evans.

8:01.

“Sorry I'm late.”


	11. Chapter 11

 

“Lily! Hi!” James shouted, immediately cursing himself for his eagerness. He walked closer to the door, and then there they were, both behind the couches, directly opposite one another.

“So… What exactly are we here to talk about?” Lily asked nervously.

“Life, the universe… everything!” James joked.

“Was.. was that a "Hitchhiker’s Guide" reference?” Lily asked. James nodded slowly, surprised. “Holy shit, I didn't know you knew that book series. I mean, not only is it a muggle series, but it's not even that popular in the muggle world. But I love it. It"s my favorite. Ever.” She caught herself beginning to sink into uber fangirl mode and pulled the reins on her excitement, but her craziness was already out in the open.

James was slightly taken aback by this. He and Lily Evans had something in common? A shared interest? A shared favorite book in the entire world? What the hell?

“Um, me too, actually,” he replied. 

James was left reeling with the realization that Lily was a  _ total fucking nerd. _ The thought couldn't make him happier, and a grin grew on his face, and that grin bubbled into a laugh, and the booming laugh fizzled into the cutest giggle Lily had ever heard, and soon, she was laughing too.

By the time the laughter had died down, they were both laying down on their couches, on their sides, trying to pretend they weren't watching each other. 

The silence following the outburst felt even louder than Lily's unexpected excitement had. James moved slowly to a sitting position on the couch, and Lily followed his example soon after. They avoided eye contact, but snuck glances at each other when the other wasn't looking.

“I'm sorry,” came out of both of their mouths at the same time.

“For fucking everything,” said James.

“For being so… I dunno,” said Lily.

And then they slowly smiled at each other before bursting into conversation.

________________________________________________________________________

 

After over an hour of discussing their shared favorite book, they realized that the entire purpose of their meeting had been unconsciously avoided.

“So, we came here to talk about how much of a shithead I am, right? And how I'll do anything to make amends?” James ran his hand through his hair, a Potter trademark. A really hot trademark.

“I mean, I guess. But I feel like we covered that about 12 obscure book references ago. I think we're okay. Really. Plus, you're really funny.”

James smiled at that. He had done it. After 6 years, he had finally convinced the one girl he wanted to laugh at his jokes to stop being mad at him long enough to do so. He didn't want to leave this room, knowing that as soon as they stepped outside, their little bubble would be popped, but it was nearing 9:30, and both of them had homework plus an early morning. With a half smile, they both recognized it was time for bed and started for the door.

Reaching for the handle to exit, Lily suddenly stopped and turned around, causing James to bump right into her. He gulped. She gasped. “I'm…-”

Her words caught in her throat as James Potter leaned in slowly, gently touching her arms, and then her neck, and then her cheek. His thumb traced the outline of her lips. She couldn't breathe. His cheek was touching hers as he put his mouth to her ear to whisper, “I know.” She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. His breath on her neck gave her shivers. And then he kissed her. He kissed her and she kissed him back, and her hands were on his neck, his cheeks, in his hair, and his hands couldn't decide what to do, so they got to know the curve of her spine, and where her hips meet her thighs, and her hairline at the base of her neck. 

She pulled him closer to her, and then they were pushed against the wall, and she was clutching at him as if he were air and she was drowning. They breathed each other in, and letting go was surely a death sentence. And when it finally ended with a few light pecks on Lily's cheeks, forehead, neck, and nose, their breath was heavy. Lily's vision was spotted, and both their cheeks were flushed and hair disheveled, though James was definitely the winner in the bad hair department. Then they separated, both awkward, and Lily left the room without a word, hilariously needing her inhaler, and concealing a happy smile from the watchful eyes of the Gryffindor common room. 

 

________________________________________________________________________

 

James stood there for god knows how long, staring at the space Lily Evans had just occupied. His brows were furrowed, and although he was elated that his adolescent dream had come true, he couldn't help but worry that it was not an organic process.

_ Did I pressure her into this? I mean, I was the one leading this. I instigated it. She turned around, but I leaned in. I touched her first. Oh my god. She didn't want it, I forced myself upon her. That"s why she left. She hates me even more now. Oh fuck, I've really done it now. I've fucked up royally now. SHIT. _

He pulled himself together enough to walk across the Common Room, and headed straight for his silent four poster where he could beat himself up in the comfort of his own bed, away from the spot where he worried he had violated the girl he loved since he was 11.

________________________________________________________________________

 

Lily lay with her curtains drawn, except for the side of her bed facing Alice"s. There she sat, eagerly awaiting her new friend"s return. She needed  _ someone _ to talk to about this, and she figured Alice might forgive her earlier snap if she was the first and only to get the details about tonight.

But then Lily started to overanalyze herself. What if James hadn't enjoyed it? What if that"s why he pulled away? What if she embarrassed herself? Why did she do it?

_ Does this mean we're together now? Does this mean I have to confront my possible feelings for him? What does this mean? _

She decided not to wait for Alice"s return, and instead to pull the curtains closed and mull over her amazing evening in silence.


	12. Chapter 12

When she first woke up, Lily's lips didn't feel any different. Neither did her cheeks, or arms, or hands, or thighs. She felt no change, and it was as if it never happened. She had always assumed that her first kiss would leave a mark she would feel forever. But it didn't.

Did it really happen? It must have happened. I couldn't have dreamed that.

She looked over at the lump she assumed to be Alice lying in an identical four poster bed, the curtains still open, untouched, before glancing around the rest of the room, drinking in the early morning image of her roommates snoring and drooling.

Immediately to her left was the bed of Hannah Wilcox. The only part of Hannah visible, though, was her long blonde hair, which was somehow covering her entire bed, while the rest of her was completely covered under her lucky fleece blanket.

The next bed along the cylindrical wall was Yvonne’s. Yvonne slept almost exactly the opposite of how Hannah slept. She was on top of her covers, in very few clothes, spreadeagled for all the room to see.  
Next to Yvonne’s bed was Brooklyn’s. In the short amount of time they had been at Hogwarts so far this year, Brooklyn had already managed to make a complete mess of her slice of the room, and she was nowhere to be seen, apparently still too mad at Hannah, who was now solely referred to by Brooklyn as “Tramp”, to even consider sleeping in the same room. No doubt she was crashing with her little sister in the 4th year dorms until the drama subsided.

Continuing the clockwise gaze around the room, Lily’s eyes fell on Alice’s sleeping form. She was curled up, hugging her pillow to her chest, surrounded by memories pinned to every pinnable surface in her area. Magical moving pictures of Hogsmeade dates, family picnics, and her friends from the year above smiled down on her as she was dreaming.

How nice to have so many happy memories, Lily thought to herself, shaking herself out of her observational reverie.

She swung her legs over the side of her mattress and slid her feet into slippers.

You’d think a school full of wizards would have figured out how to heat concrete floors by now. It’s fucking cold.

In the bathroom, Lily rubbed the sleep out of her eyes in order to get a good look at her reflection. “Alright, Lil, woman up. Time to face the day and get out of your head. Let’s see what we’re dealing with today.”

Ten minutes later, after a hefty bout of muttered swear words, pleading with any and all gods, and a good amount of squeezing her chin, Lily gave up trying to get rid of the massive pimple that had appeared overnight.

“Of course.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

It was hard to decide whether to avoid James Potter or seek him out. Lily wanted to do both simultaneously, so she ended up just hoping that the universe would give her a sign regarding how to approach the whole post-makeout situation when she first saw him at breakfast. No such luck.

Remus was the first to say anything. “Hey Head Girl! Ready for early morning Arithmancy?”

“Oh, for sure. Gotta love…. That,” Lily stammered in response, too anxious about the James sitch to think of anything witty to say.

Remus laughed anyway. As did James, albeit a little awkwardly.

Lily decided to take fate into her own hands. “Um, J-James? Hi. Good morning, I mean.”

“Hey, Lily. Um, good morning to you, too.”

Remus looked at the pair curiously before sneaking away to sit with the other two Marauders, who had begun digging into a platter of assorted breakfast meats while watching the encounter out of the corners of their eyes.

“So…” James continued, suddenly feeling very lost without the nearby presence of his best friends, and suddenly feeling very nervous with the nearby presence of the girl he so admired.

“So, um, last night-” Lily’s start into getting answers and explanations was cut short by none other than Alice Prewett as she plopped down across the table, talking loudly and to no one in particular about a particularly hellish morning involving a hair curling charm gone wrong, a quick visit to Madame Pomfrey, and another brief bout of pre-Hogsmeade drama. When she finally noticed the boy standing over Lily’s shoulder, and Lily half turned toward him, she paused for a breath.

“Oh. Hey there, James. Did I, uh, interrupt, um, something?” The innuendo in her voice was enough to send Lily reeling. She didn’t want to read more into this than needed to be read. Maybe not telling Alice all the details last night was a good thing, especially if she was going to make such a big deal out of this with no details at all.

“Nope, you’re good. Just, erm, Head duty stuff. Boring shit,” Lily quickly lied. She glanced over her shoulder just in time to see James covering his clearly crestfallen expression with a smile before wishing Alice a good day and joining his friends.

What?


	13. Chapter 13

"So, Prongsy, my love, what's going on with Lil Red over there? Score big last night?" Sirius asked, the smirk on his face hinting that his question was not as innocent as it sounded. He had a knack for asking what the rest of the Marauders were thinking, especially when they were too scared to ask themselves.

Peter nearly spat out his cereal trying to hold back a laugh. "Sirius!" He elbowed his friend and gave him a look.

"Wow, Padfoot. Subtle. Y'know, my plan was to wait until he was ready to share his developments," Remus said, playfully hitting Sirius on the shoulder with a piece of muffin hastily torn apart and thrown across the table.

James looked back and forth between his best friends. He contemplated lying about the encounter with Lily Evans, making up a story about how some tension had arisen regarding their Head partnership. He weighed the pros and cons of telling the full truth quickly in his head, and ultimately decided that there was no use in lying, and besides, he could use some advice. So he let out a small sigh, which was quickly followed unconsciously by the tiniest of smiles. He glanced down the long table at the object of his confusion and desire. "Well, no. Scoring wasn't really on the agenda for our Head meeting. We, um, talked."

The other three boys shared a look, knowing that clearly he wasn't ready to talk about his night. When the time was ready, and he had properly led up to it, he'd share, and they'd overanalyze everything Lily Evans had to say about James Potter, making plans and all the rest. But until then, they might just have to settle with "we talked."

But not if they could help it.

"Oh. Nice," Sirius said, shoveling a sausage into his mouth to prevent something sarcastic and probably crude from slipping out.

Remus took over, much more experienced at the art of subtlety and prying information from someone. "What'd you talk about? The whole huge gigantic crush thing? The bullying? What'd she say?"

Did I say subtlety? I meant bluntness.

James smiled again, this time into his coffee. "Uh, no, actually. We talked about a book series we both really love. For a pretty long time, actually. And we laughed a lot. She's really funny. And she said I was funny. And then we.. Um.."

The other three Marauders stared at him while he fixated on his plate, moving eggs around with a fork for an unreasonable amount of time, refusing, or maybe just unable, to complete his sentence.

Finally, Peter broke the silence. "You what?!"

"We kissed."

"So how did everything go last night with Potter?" There it was. The big question that Lily had been anticipating since Alice arrived at the table. So far they had discussed the classes they had to tolerate that day, the evening's activities, essays that needed writing, the new 6th year relationship drama between several members of Ravenclaw and Gryffindor houses, and now it was finally time to get down to brass tacks. "Spill!"

What harm could actually come from telling Alice, right? She'd probably be able to provide some really helpful insight, actually. She had a lot of experience with relationships, and flings, and even some one night stands. She'd know how to approach the situation.

So Lily bore all, and told Alice about the bonding over Hitchhiker's Guide, and their long conversation, and all the joke, and the kissing (and subsequent dying and rebirthing), and then the less than romantic ending to the night and weird late night confusion, and then the awkwardness this morning.

"So what do I do?" Lily finished.

Alice took a moment, letting all the newly acquired information sink in before responding to her new friend. "I think he's into you. But I know James, we're sorta friends. He doesn't seem like he talks about feelings or anything with anyone except the Marauders, so it would be hard for me to snoop around and find out."

"Oh god, no, please don't snoop!" Lily shook her head, before burying it in her hands. "This feels like first year. It's so dramatic. I don't even know if I like him. For god's sake, I've hated him for years! This is all just very confusing, and I think that I'm just in shock from all of his.. Confessions." She ignored the pointed look Alice was giving her. "I probably don't even really like him. Even as a friend. I don't even really know him."

She glanced down the table to where the Marauders sat, letting her eyes wander as long as they possibly could before they absolutely had to settle on the slightly disheveled figure of the Head Boy, only to see that he had been looking at her, too. Their eyes met, and for a moment, neither looked away. Lily felt herself beginning to smile before she shook herself out of her kiss induced trance and broke the eye contact. She forced herself to stare at her eggs, only half listening to Alice as she eventually changed the subject to their upcoming Potions class that afternoon.

When a suitable amount of time had passed, she figured it was safe to steal another peek at James. His hair was so wild and soft looking, his glasses were as crooked as his grin, and he still had a scar on his chin from that Quidditch accident in 4th year. His robes had a dribble of orange juice right down the front, and he was shoveling food into his mouth, but somehow, Lily couldn't help but think he looked perfect.

Shit.


	14. Chapter 14

After listening to his friends essentially freak the fuck out about the whole him-kissing-Lily thing for at least 15 minutes, James finally spoke.

"I just don't think she likes me. I definitely felt like I pushed her into kissing me. I mean, I was the one who started it. She didn't stop it, but-"

"Mate, shut the fuck up a second," Sirius interrupted. "I have asked questions that you have yet to answer, and they are important questions that can possibly help ease your worry. So go, answer away."

"I'll be really honest, Pads, I sort of tuned you out about 10 minutes ago," James confessed.

Sirius groaned. "Fucking hell, alright, here we go. Did she kiss you back, how long did it last, how did she react, was there chemistry, did she fight it, who ended it, what did you say afterwards, how did you say goodbye, and did you get to touch her arse or boobs?"

"For god's sake, Sirius."

"Need to know."

"I don't know how long we kissed for. A while. It was great, I'll be honest, lots of, erm, passion? I guess? She seemed really into it but then when I drew back finally, she kind of just stared at me and then walked out of the room. And no, I didn't touch her arse or boobs, you pervert," James finished with a scowl at his best friend.

Sirius narrowed his eyes in thought. "Interesting."

"Sounds hopeful to me," Peter chimed in. "There's potential here."

James groaned again, stuffing his mouth full of food, hoping that if he wasn't able to talk, the conversation would end. He stole another glance at the beautiful redhead sitting only 15 feet away. Like every other time he had looked over at her that morning, the roar of the Great Hall seemed to fade away, his friends' chatter was indistinguishable, and all he could do was study the lines of her face, the way her hair fell into her eyes, and the delicacy of her hands as she poured sugar into her tea. She took three sugars. Lots of milk. Same as him.

Then she looked in his direction, watching Sirius wave his arms frantically, then observing Peter refilling his coffee, and then finally settling on James himself. Their eyes met, and they just kind of stayed there for a while. He noticed the corners of her mouth tugging upwards. She was smiling at him. She didn't hate him. Then she blinked several times and quickly looked back at her plate. Maybe she did hate him after all.

A hand waving in the air directly in front of his eyes snapped him out of his daze, and he looked back over at his friends, who were staring at him with fascination and amusement.

Sirius began to laugh. "You've got it baaaaad, mate."


	15. Chapter 15

Lily was scribbling notes about Acromantula Venom and its value in the wizarding world as fast as she could that afternoon in her Potions class when a folded up piece of parchment landed on her desk. She looked around to see who had sent it to her, and she saw Alice a few seats away, watching her impatiently. Lily unfolded the note quietly, so as not to draw the attention of Professor Slughorn.

Vivaldi (that's your codename now),

Assistance requested. Official Hogsmeade business. Must decide on my date. Oh outfit too. Plus we need to figure out who you're going with. I may have a suggestion. And you may get frustrated when I tell you but I'm going to tell you anyway and you'll learn to appreciate it. Ooh! And also we need to decide what YOU'RE gonna wear. A follow up conversation at dinner is a must. Conversation may possibly carry over into the dorm, depending on how much you resist my ideas.

So dinner. No excuses.

Also I'm gonna need to borrow your notes and you're gonna have to help me because I haven't been paying attention at all. I hate potions and I know you're really good at it.

That's all.

Tchaikovsky (and that's my codename, FYI)

While the note was amusing - and very Alice - the prospect of being told she needed to go on a Hogsmeade date with James Potter was a little daunting. And that was inevitably what Alice was going to suggest, being the amateur matchmaker that she was.

Even though she wasn't necessarily looking forward to being pushed into a date, she was looking forward to eating with Alice. There was something so nice about eating with someone every day, talking about things like Hogsmeade, and clothes, and homework, and drama. It felt so… normal, which was not at all what she was used to.

It wasn't that Lily didn't have friends, that wasn't the case at all. She had enough "friends" to be satisfied. But they were all either muggles from her hometown and childhood, or they were more like acquaintances - prefects she had frequently gone on rounds with, housemates, roommates, students in other houses she had paired with for group projects. She was well known throughout the school, but was by no means "popular."

Then again, the Hogwarts popularity system wasn't set up the way it was in the teen romance movies she watched as a kid. Obviously the Quidditch teams were more like the 'jocks', who often disregarded their academic welfare in order to have fun and win tournaments. Then there were the 'nerds' - people who buckled down and focused on school, neglecting their social lives. Lily supposed Hogwarts was sort of a spectrum, with every person falling somewhere between two muggle stereotypes. She classified herself as being somewhere definitely closer to the 'nerd' end. She liked rules, she liked school, and she liked being the best, which required focus.

Alice, on the other hand, was the opposite. She loved to party and date, sometimes skipped classes because she was hungover or just didn't feel like it, broke a lot of school rules, yet somehow managed to do well in all of her classes.

It was strange that she and Lily got along so well, but it was like they balanced each other out. Alice brought out Lily's adventurous side, pushing her to be more sociable and let loose at meal times, encouraging silly jokes and meeting new members of their house, whereas Lily reined Alice in, and was a great study partner and enforcer of rules and safety regulations. They were quickly becoming close friends, and Lily was grateful for someone to give her advice about the whole Potter thing.

She scribbled a quick reply to Alice's note, whispered "Wingardium Leviosa," and sent the note back over to her friend's desk while Professor Slughorn's back was turned so he could write some other interesting tidbit about Acromantula Venom on the chalkboard. Alice's words stuck with her, though, and she didn't go back to writing notes. Was going with James to Hogsmeade an option? She let her eyes go out of focus and the quill in her hand wander as her thoughts about the Head Boy took the forefront.

"Alright, that's all I have for class today. Thanks very much for listening so aptly. And remember, I want a foot and a half on the venom of the widely feared Acromantula by next class!" Professor Slughorn announced. "Tell me about its value, its usage, its history, the extraction process, and any other fascinating Acromantula anecdotes you can think of. Ha! Acroman-ecdotes!"

Fuck, thought Lily. I was daydreaming and missed the last 15 minutes of information. That's 15 minutes of notes that could help me with this paper. Stupid James Potter.

Professor Slughorn continued, "Alright, alright, I've held you long enough. Have a lovely evening, you may all leave."

Lily was the first to stand of her classmates, but took her time packing up her belongings, and ended up being alone in a dark room, as her professor had extinguished the lights upon his exit. As she turned towards the door to leave for her nightly library study time before dinner, a lone figure stood silhouetted in the light from the hallway.

She'd recognize that shaggy hair anywhere, especially after thinking about it all day. "Hi James."

He began to walk towards her slowly, coming into the pale light streaking through the high windows of the classroom. "Uh, hey Lily." He had planned something more eloquent to say to her, but nerves got the best of him, so he settled on a cheesy joke. "So, fancy seeing you he-OH!"

And with that, James Potter slipped on spilled honeywater leftover from the 5th years venture into brewing Volubilis Potion, and hit the ground, hard, slamming the back of his head right into the concrete.

"James oh my god! Are you okay?" Lily rushed over to him and saw a trickle of blood coming from the back of his head. "James?"

He didn't respond, and he wasn't waking up.


End file.
